


Christmas Past & Present

by garconne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, F/M, Frigga Feels, Mischief and Mistletoe 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 23:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2830244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garconne/pseuds/garconne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Sif and Loki get ready to celebrate Christmas with friends, she recalls how they met at Christmas time years before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serendippily (pemonynen)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pemonynen/gifts).



> Thank you for the fun prompt of "a Christmas theme!" :D

Sif was pressing red and green M&M's into her sugar cookies when Loki came up behind her and kissed her neck. 

“Ahh,” she laughed in surprise, dropping a few of the candies. 

He held her hips and kissed her ear. 

“Loki,” she laughed. “I need to get these in the oven.” 

“You don’t have a few minutes to spare?” 

She laughed again, a quieter laugh this time, and sighed at his touch. She turned around and kissed him, abandoning the cookies for now. They wouldn’t be alone much longer, anyway, with guests arriving soon. Loki abruptly lifted her up and made for the bedroom, and she shrieked with laughter.

They were swiftly in bed, her warm lips on his inked skin, her hands in his hair. She bent up one leg as he was on top of her, as was her habit, and he kissed the side of her knee, as was his. 

Years before, she’d been surprised by his passion and tenderness the first few times they made love, but now it was perfectly normal; perfectly him. He’d seemed somewhat reserved on their early dates, but even then she’d noticed something about the way he looked at her, something she couldn’t pin down at the time that she might've mistaken for sadness except that he didn’t actually seem sad. It was the same way he still looked at her now when he told her he loved her, that she was so beautiful, that he was so lucky. 

She breathed his name as he panted by her ear and he responded in kind. She had no regrets about letting him whisk her away from her baking. 

Afterward, they lied in bed looking at each other. There were things to do to get ready for dinner, but for the moment, it was only the two of them holding each other, him running his fingertips over her back as she played with his hair. Sif smiled and kissed his nose and then lifted her hand above their faces to look at her ring. Loki reached up and took her hand in his, holding it there as the stone faintly sparkled in the dim light of the bedroom. 

“Best present ever,” she said. 

He had proposed just a few weeks before at a Christmas lights festival while they were shivering at the top of a ferris wheel. _You are the single most wonderful part of my life, and if you’ll have me, I’m yours forever._  

“I can’t wait to marry you,” she added, lowering her hand and kissing him again. 

“I’m so lucky,” he said softly, running his hand through her long hair. “I love you so much.” 

“About half as lucky as me,” she said, holding his face. “Christmas always reminds me of when we met… Do I say that every year?” 

“I think so,” he laughed. “Me, too.” 

She kissed him again and he wrapped his arms around her. But then it was time to get dressed again. 

As Sif headed back to the kitchen, she turned and looked over at their tree in the living room, lit up with the pretty angel on top--a paper mache angel with gold wings.


	2. The Paper Angel

**_Four years earlier_  **

Sif was on a ladder stringing Christmas lights across the ceiling of the cafeteria when she was struck by a sudden pang of grief. She tried to blink her eyes clear, and a few tears dripped down her cheeks. It kept happening anytime it hit her that Frigga really wouldn't be there this year. 

“Got it,” Melinda called from the ladder across the room. 

They came down and started to reposition for the next string. As they did, Sif glanced over at a group of people bringing in boxes from the attic and noticed one person she didn’t recognize--a man probably in his mid twenties like her, with dark hair and tattooed arms. It was Sif’s fifth time helping with the charity dinner, and she had never seen him around. 

After they’d finished with the lights, Melinda came over to her. 

“I think this looks great,” Melinda said, always trying to stay positive. “Are you okay?” 

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. It was dusty up there… Do you know that guy? I think he’s new.” 

Melinda looked where Sif had gestured. “With the tattoos?” 

Sif nodded. 

“That’s Loki. He’s one of Frigga’s sons.” 

His name came like a blow to her chest. She’d seen him once before very briefly, at the funeral that summer, but hadn’t recognized him now from the side. She’d heard a lot about about Frigga’s two sons, Loki and Thor, but she’d never met either of them. For a moment, she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling. Her own grief must be negligible compared to his. She caught herself noticing how attractive he was and looked away. She wondered what it would’ve been like to meet him under different circumstances. 

Sif tried to act casual as she and Melinda joined them to help with the boxes. There were so many things she wished she could say to him. _Your mother was one of my favorite people in the whole world_. But she could never say that out loud. Would he even want to hear that? Maybe he’d just respond with _Yeah? Me too._ , and walk away. Or maybe he’d say nothing at all. He wasn’t talking much. 

It was a little over an hour later when she spoke to him for the first time. She was taking cat food outside to refill the bowls Frigga had kept out back when she saw him leaning against the wall talking on the phone, his gloveless hand shaking in the cold. He was just saying goodbye as she came out, so when he hung up, she cautiously approached. 

“We really appreciate you being here and helping.” 

He nodded, still looking at his phone. “No problem.” 

“I’m Sif, by the way. You’re Loki, right?” 

He nodded again and looked at her this time. He was so cute up close, with his defined cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. Her cheeks went warm just standing near him. 

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” she said. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said, pocketing his phone. 

She almost turned to leave, but her habit of rambling kicked in. 

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss,” she added. “We want to do everything how she would have wanted it--” 

She stopped short when he abruptly picked up the motorcycle helmet by his foot. 

“I’d rather not talk about it,” he said, turning to go. 

“Oh… I’m sorry,” she started. 

“Don’t be,” he said. But then he was gone. 

 

*** 

 

“I think I got off on the wrong foot with Loki,” Sif confided in Melinda later. 

“Oh, I’m sure he’s just going through a hard time.” 

“Yeah. I know. I guess I shouldn't have come on so strong... He’s not what I expected.” 

“Well, don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure he’ll be back. Let’s set up the tree.” 

Sif smiled. She was silently grateful that Melinda, nearly ten years her senior, had been acting a bit more motherly than usual. 

They started unpacking the decorations for the tree, and Sif realized something was missing. Frigga had always topped the tree with a hand-painted paper angel she’d created years before. It was beautiful and very fragile, and Sif started to worry about it being carelessly packed in the wrong place. 

Just then, she was startled by a group of guys dropping a table in the middle of the floor. Sif turned and saw them leaving for another. Loki was with them. 

“Hey, guys,” Sif started. They didn’t hear her. 

“Hey,” she said more loudly. “These can’t be in here yet.” 

A few of them just stared at her. 

“We need to finish decorating before we set up the tables,” she explained. 

“But this is where they need to be, right?” Loki said. “If we put them in another room, we’ll just have to move them again.” 

She did not care for his tone or for him disagreeing with her in his first time helping there. But she also didn’t want to be angry at Frigga’s son, with his stupidly pretty blue eyes. She took a breath. 

“That’s true, but if you could maybe just wait until we’re done decorating--” 

Melinda stepped forward and chimed in. “Why don’t we just lean them against the wall? They’ll be out of the way there.” 

That settled it. Sif’s chest was heavy with regret. _I should have let it go._  

“Yes! Here it is!” Darcy suddenly called out. She was a college student helping with the event for the second year in a row. 

Sif whirled around, hopeful. When she caught her eye, Darcy’s smile disappeared. 

“Oh, sorry, not the angel,” Darcy said. She was holding something leafy. “I found the mistletoe,” she added with cautious celebration. 

Just then, Skye, another volunteer, approached them. Something about her expression made Sif uneasy. 

“Hey guys, I just got some bad news. There was a fire at the caterer’s restaurant last night. They have to pull out, and they can’t give us a refund.” 

“Oh, no…” Melinda muttered. 

“Did you explain our...situation?” Sif asked, feeling tears rise in her eyes. 

“They have their own situation now,” Melinda said gently. 

“How can we afford a second dinner in two days?” Sif asked, her voice shaking. 

“We’ll make it work,” Skye said. “We can pool our money and find a new caterer.” 

Sif wasn’t sure she believed it. 

“Skye is right; we’ll find a way.” 

Sif sighed, wiped her face, and headed for the bathroom. It was exactly the type of problem that Frigga would have been able to solve with a few urgent phone calls had she been there. And the restaurant that had caught fire was one of her favorites; the owners were her friends. Now they’d lost their business. 

Tears streaming from her eyes, Sif nearly ran into Loki as he came in the front door. She wiped her eyes again and dodged him, continuing down the hall. _Fantastic timing._  

Her face was red and pathetic in the mirror. She took a shaky deep breath. Skye and Melinda were right; they had to make it work. As founder and president of the charity, Frigga had made sure that less fortunate families in the community had a nice holiday dinner every year, and it was happening this year no matter what. 

When she returned, she found the group clustered near the tree, talking about how they could raise money fast enough. They decided they’d hit the phones, calling restaurants to find a last-minute caterer who could offer a low rate given their situation, in addition to possible donors who could fund the meal. They also agreed to pool donations within the volunteer staff for an extra boost. 

Sif liked the plan. It would be hard work, but she felt more optimistic. Surely some local businesses would want to help out. She glanced at Loki. He’d been standing there listening the whole time, but she couldn’t read his expression. It was in that moment that she suddenly felt embarrassed for her mini-crush on him earlier that day. She reminded herself that there were much more important things going on and that he probably wasn’t interested in her at all. 

Of course, on that second point, she had been profoundly incorrect. 

As everyone dispersed, she turned back to the boxes by the tree. Finding the angel certainly wasn’t a priority over money, but it would ease her mind to know it was safe and sound. Melinda saw what she was doing and began to help. 

But in boxes and boxes of sparkling ornaments and tree trimmings, it was nowhere.

“Is this the last box?” Sif asked, looking around. “How could it not be here?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe it got stored somewhere else.” 

Sif briefly had the mental image of it getting thrown out with the trash the previous year, pretty gold wings crumpled and broken under garbage. 

“I guess we should start calling,” she said, trying to mask her disappointment. 

“I’m sorry, Sif. We’ll keep looking for it.”

 

***

 

Sif didn’t see Loki again until later that night. She was alone with a cup of tea at one of the tables that were now set up throughout the cafeteria. Everything was closed for the night, so she’d stopped calling and had been daydreaming about the previous Christmas when she was interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle. 

Loki walked in carrying a box. She was surprised to see him and more surprised when he came straight toward her. He set the box on the table without speaking. Sif looked at him, and then stood up to open the box. She cupped her hands over her mouth at what she found inside: a paper mache angel with gold wings. 

“Oh my god,” she said. “You found it.” 

She hadn’t even realized he’d heard about it being missing. She reflexively threw her arms around him, knowing she’d probably regret it later and facepalm for making things weird, but she didn’t care. She would have hugged anyone who found the angel. And then he surprised her again when he lightly returned the embrace. Her heart thumped in her chest as she eased away, trying to act casual again. 

She wondered if maybe he did like her after all, even though she asked the wrong questions and freaked out about tables. And on that point, she was very much correct. 

“This is actually the one from home,” he explained. “She made it, too.” 

“Oh…oh, gosh, I can’t take this from you.” 

“No, it’s fine. She’d want it to be…” 

Sif nodded. “I’ll make sure you get it back.” 

There was an awkward silence. There was so much more she wanted to say to him. _Your mother was amazing and you are so beautiful._  

“I heard you found a good caterer,” he said. 

“Yeah, we did,” she said, grateful for the new topic. “We just have to raise the money to pay by Saturday. They gave us a nice discount, so it should work out.” 

He nodded. She thought he’d leave, but he spoke again. 

“Yeah... I’m sure it will,” he offered. 

“I’m sorry about before,” she added. “I didn’t mean to sound mad. It’s just been a long day.” 

He nodded and shrugged. “I know.” 

She looked down at the angel again. It was nearly identical to the other, but a bit more elaborate, with a ribbon sash and sheet music printed on the skirt. 

“Everything really looks great,” he mumbled. 

“I hope so,” she said. “Thanks for all your help.” 

He nodded again and turned to go. 

“Goodnight,” she said. 

“See you tomorrow,” he answered as he headed out the door. 

When she was alone again in the cafeteria, it dawned on her that he’d come back just to bring her the angel.

 

***

 

Sif woke up early the next day, anxious to get started making phone calls to find someone to donate money for the dinner. But when she looked at her phone, she had a group text from Skye: 

> _Great news! We are funded thanks to an anonymous donation! I guess word got out that we needed help. Christmas miracle! :)_  

Sif read the text again a few times, not sure she believed it. Had the local businesses they called really spread the word in one night? Maybe one of them had some wealthy relative who decided to help. Something about that seemed a bit too perfect to be true, but she gave herself permission to be happy about it and smiled as she got dressed. 

It wasn’t until later, when she and Melinda had finally finished decorating, that it occurred to her that the donation could have come from Loki. 

He came in carrying his helmet as usual, and Sif overheard Darcy telling him the news. 

“Oh... Yeah, I heard. Last night right? That’s good.” 

And then he walked away. There was something off about his reply, a forced casualness that made her wonder. Could he really afford that? 

Everyone was in much better spirits that day. The room was beautiful, food was coming, and at around 5pm the guests would start arriving. Darcy kept mentioning that she’d hung the mistletoe in some secret location, and after keeping an eye out for it, Sif decided she’d hid it too well. 

She saw Loki again when she was passing out reindeer antler headbands to the volunteers and already wearing one, herself. 

“I guess I probably _can’t_ get you to wear one of these…?” 

He looked at the antlers in her hand and made a face. 

“Whose idea was that?” 

“Mine,” she admitted with a shrug. “It, uh, helps the guests know who they can ask for help.” 

He smiled and nodded. Yet again, she felt like an idiot. And once again, he surprised her. 

“Only for you,” he said, taking it from her and putting it on his head. 

She stifled a laugh at the sight of him and was about to say something when several caterers came by carrying trays of hot food. 

“Oh, watch out,” Loki said, putting his hand on her shoulder and gently pulling her toward him. 

She flushed at his touch as she stepped out of their way. She was suddenly at a loss for words. The memory of their hug the previous evening felt like something from a dream. 

“I’ll see if they need help in there,” he said, heading for the kitchen. 

She nodded. The words _only for you_ replayed in her head all day.

 

***

 

The hard work always paid off when the families arrived for dinner. Sif was a door greeter and loved watching their faces as they came in and saw the tree and the pretty tablecloths. The food smelled delicious, and with the string lights and Michael Buble’s Christmas album, the room had a perfect ambiance. She knew Frigga would have been proud. Skye and Melinda gave her thumbs up from across the room and she returned the gesture. After dinner, Santa would show up with little surprises for the children. 

She saw Loki again when he was helping to collect empty plates from the tables. He wasn’t wearing the headband anymore, and she could hardly blame him. She watched him for a while. He was in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, the tattoos on his arms visible again. She wondered if he had more she couldn’t see. He looked over at her as he made his way to the kitchen and smiled. She smiled back. 

It suddenly occurred to her that she wanted to give him a Christmas present. But it couldn’t be just anything. She wanted to show him how much she appreciated his time there. Maybe something sentimental, but not too dramatic. For a while her mind was blank. But later that night, she had an idea. 

After the guests had gone home and they’d mostly cleaned up, she found a free moment to dash down the hall to Frigga’s old office. She paused at the door. She had barely been able to set foot inside since she’d been gone; avoiding it unless it was absolutely necessary. Taking a breath, she pushed open the door and flipped the light on. Everything was as it had always been, as if Frigga had just been inside and would return any minute. The notepad on her desk had her handwriting on it, and her phone was blinking with unheard messages. 

The bottom drawer of Frigga’s filing cabinet was where she’d always stored her seasonal office decorations. Inside, she kept paper hearts for Valentine’s day, smiling bats for Halloween, various streamers, and other cute things. Sif knelt and opened it and found what she was looking for straight away: the snow globe. Inside was a happy little snowman with red birds on his branch arms. Frigga had set it on her desk every year at Christmas time, and Sif always noticed how cute it was. She wasn’t sure if Loki would want it, but she thought that if anyone should have it, it was him. 

And then her heart nearly stopped when she spotted a familiar gold wing. The angel was in the drawer, too. It wasn’t lost or damaged after all. Sif hadn’t even thought to check there before, but of course Frigga had thought to keep it somewhere safe. She ran her fingers over it for a moment before she closed the drawer and left. 

Sif hurried back to the hall, hoping to catch Loki before he left for the night. Her heart sank when he was nowhere in sight. But then she realized the door was closing behind him. 

“Loki!” she called out, catching the door and stepping onto the porch. 

“Hey..?” he said, turning back to her. 

“I thought you should have this,” she said, holding out the globe. “It was your mom’s.” 

He looked surprised as he took it from her. Sif could tell he had seen it before. 

“I remember this,” he said, looking down at the shimmery glass ball in his hands. “We used to have it at home when we were kids. I wonder if it still plays.” 

He flipped it over and wound the knob on the bottom. Turning it right side up, the snow fell as the tune of _Last Christmas_ started. Sif smiled. She had forgotten it was a music box. Loki smiled, too. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

“Sure. Merry Christmas.” 

“You too.” 

“I’m really glad you came to--” Sif stopped short, interrupted by Darcy yelling from the parking lot. 

“Hey, Sif!” she called. 

Sif turned. Darcy pointed her finger up, up and waggled her eyebrows. Sif looked up and laughed when she saw the mistletoe Darcy had hung above the door--just a bit too high to be in plain sight. _Of course_. She shook her head and avoided Loki’s eyes, her cheeks burning hot. 

“I’m glad I came, too,” he answered. 

He wasn’t laughing. He was staring into her soul. 

“That donation…” she blurted out. “It was you, wasn’t it?” 

He nodded. “From my inheritance.” 

“Well,” she said, glancing up again. “I’d hate to break tradition.” 

Lifting up her heels, she planted a quick kiss on his cheek. He held her gaze after, and she held her breath. And then his hand was on her shoulder, his lips on hers. Sif was all too eager to return the kiss, her heart hammering her chest. 

“Whoa,” Darcy muttered before shutting her car door. 

Loki looked into Sif’s eyes again and laughed a little. “I thought this might be my only chance.” 

She laughed, too. “It doesn’t have to be.” 

He smiled and nodded, looking down again. Her heart skipped a beat. She decided that this absolutely would not be the only kiss. And she was entirely correct, of course. 

“Coffee? Sometime?” she suggested. 

“Sometime,” he agreed. “Like, maybe 10 or 20 minutes from now? If you’re free?” 

She laughed. “Sounds perfect.”


	3. Epilogue

**_Present day_ **

Sif had the curling iron in her hair when the timer beeped for the cookies. 

“I’ll get them,” Loki called without missing a beat. “They smell so good.” 

She finished her hair and pinned back one side, and then pulled on her holiday outfit, a black wrap dress with a sash belt and sparkly red flowers dotting the skirt. She had red shoes and nail polish to match. 

She found Loki in the kitchen moving the sugar cookies to the cooling wrack with a spatula. He was wearing a button-down with the sleeves cuffed by his elbows so the ink on his forearms was visible. It was among her favorite things to see him wear, as he well knew. She practically went weak in the knees watching him for a moment, her sweet, gorgeous fiance handling her silly dessert with care. 

“You look nice,” she said, touching his arm. “I love that shirt.” 

“Thanks,” he said, setting the cookie sheet aside and turning toward her. “Oh, I love the new dress! You look amazing.” 

He embraced her but knew not to kiss her while her makeup was fresh. 

“Everything looks perfect,” he added. 

The living room decorations were a bit more lavish than usual, with the tree, wreath, candles, a garland across the mantle, and a long dining table for the occasion. The first knock at the door came just as she’d set the basket of cookies with the other desserts. 

Thor and Jane and Jane’s baby bump were first to arrive. 

“Hi! Merry Christmas!” came the greetings and hugs as she opened the door. 

“Oh my gosh, look at you!” Sif said to Jane as Thor helped her out of her coat. 

Jane beamed and smoothed her dress over her stomach. 

“Wow, Sif, everything looks so pretty,” she said. 

“Thank you!” 

“She’s a talented decorator,” Loki agreed. 

“Well, let’s see it!” Jane insisted. 

Sif held up her hand. 

“Aww, beautiful! Congratulations!” 

Melinda and Phil arrived shortly, followed by Skye and Darcy, Steve and James, and then Heimdall, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg, and finally, Natasha, whose pumpkin bread more than atoned for her lateness. 

Sif and Loki watched as their friends gathered in the living room, hugging and laughing and greeting one another. He put his arm around her and kissed her head. 

“Merry Christmas, Siffy.” 

“Merry Christmas,” she said. “Love you.”


End file.
